Sunday, September 27, 2009

Settlement, Bi Polar disorder and life after marriage - quick notes form the edge of reason


Current mood: calm
Category: Life

Well I must say this has been quite a tumultuous month. Why? (u innocently ask...)

Ok. Firstly let me say that I was married at midnite of December 31st, 1999/January 1st 2000 (on a yacht in the Whitsundays - very romantic). So that means that New Years Eve is my anniversary. But now that I'm separated, obviously I didn't celebrate with Paul. Instead I got tickets to Shore Thing with Bob St Claire (Love generation) and Basement Jack, and had a great time with my flatmate Cassie, and a large group of friends.

But it's still there in my mind - anniversary time - and because I'm not a heartless bitch, I got a little nostalgic (even a tad melancholy) about the failure of my marraige and the loss of the man I LOVED. By this I mean the man I loved for such a long time is long gone and has been replaced by a stranger. (*A changeling* straight out of a faery story, although these faeries are probably called VB or Johnny Walker).

Well, he did call me on the afternoon of NYE to find out what I was doing for NYE, but after neglecting me over Xmas (not even a card), I was in no mood to have my night wrecked with his arguments, erratic unreliability or plain ignorance. So I put on cheerful face/voice and wished him a Happy New Year.

Since NYD he has become progressively more and more erratic.

1) He moved out of the house without any notice, leaving 2 months rent unpaid. (Needless to say I have always payed the house repayments & expenses anyway - but its a bit rich to have lived rent & guilt free while I pay the replayments + rent in my new apartment for 3 months. Goodbye Mr Responsibility)

2) He left the place in a total pigsty!

3) He created a large hole in the garage (where he was escavating under the house without planing permission) Now I have acrows propping the house foundations, half escavated, half full of clay, unsealed....etc

4) He is a roofer who took the tiles off the house, put them back on, but neglected to cement bed the ridegecappings into place (they are just propped there waiting to blow off in the next windstorm)

5) After manipulating me into raising $20K to pay his tax bill last November (which cost me more than $10K in remortgage costs) he has left me with his debt and refuses to make the payments. Nice one.

6) So now I am paying an extra $750 per month for his tax debt, on top of $5000 in mortgages + rates, + body corp + insurances, water, maintenance, fees etc. ( great - like I'm made of money)

7) Then he tells me he wants me to pay him for any work he's done on the house at tradesmans rates ( forget valuations - he thinks valuations are a clever method created by me to rip him off)

8) Then he tells me he wants to leave it all to me ( I bought it all - its all in my name anyway) and I should write off all his debts + pay for the work he started to be completed.

(9) Items 7 + 8 + threats of solicitors are screamed down the phone at me multiple times per day - each time he calls he changes his demands.

10) And apaprently I like black cocks and this is why we have split up

11) Oh and the reasons everything is bad, is because *I left him* and *you don't just walk out on someone after 13 years, even if they are a sleaze*. Yes I did leave, and there were reasons that he was unable to acknowledge let alone work together in a spirit of reconcilliation.

12) And I'm a bad mother too.

13) And of course the real reasons for the split have been conveniantly forgotten while he builds a new demonic mental mind map of me. (Of course this shouldn't matter because I just want to settle and move on with my life - but it still hurts.

Please universe make me strong so I can stay calm, fair rational and kind.

Love to all.

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