Current mood:
jubilantCategory: Life
I'm going to repost those inspirational words again. Then i'm going to talk about what they mean to me now, over 8 months later...
Transition
There will come a time in your life when you will ask yourself a series of questions.
Am I happy with who I am?
Am I happy with the people around me?
Am I happy with what I'm doing?
Am I happy with the way my life is going?
Do I have a life or am I just living?
Do not let these questions strain or trouble you.
Just point youself in the direction of your dreams, find your strengh in the sound, and make your transition.
Do not spend to much time thinking and not enough doing.
Did I try the hardest at any of my dreams?
Did I purposly let others discourage me when I knew I could?
Will I die never knowing what I could have been or could of done?
Do not let these doubts restrain of trouble you.
Just point yourself in the direction of your dreams.
Find your strength in the sound and make your transition.
There will be people who say you can't - you will.
There will be people who say you dont mix this with that and you will say "watch me".
There will be people who will say play it safe, thats to risky - you will take that chance and have no fear.
You wont let these questions restrain or trouble you.
You will point yourself in the direction of your dreams.
You will find the strength in the sound, and make your transition.
For those who know, its time to leave the house and go back to the field.
Find your strength in the sound and make your transition.
--The Unknown Writer
(Underground Resistance - Transition)
It was August 24th 2006 that marked day 1 of my transition. The 13th year (to the day) of my relationship. After the emotionally dramatic events on the night of the 23rd of August, 2006 at the Guthega Alpine Ski Resort, I asked myself these questions:
Am I happy with who I am?
Am I happy with the people around me?
Am I happy with what I'm doing?
Am I happy with the way my life is going?
Do I have a life or am I just living?
And I found myself confronted by a truth from which I had long hidden. My relationship was damaging me, it was holding me back, and preventing me from being the best person I could be. It was causing me to become reactive, judgemental and self limiting. I was in a comfort zone with a handsome funny husband and lovely trappings, but was I truly happy, or living in fear? The answer was difficult to accept, but I made my choice.
My choice was transition. To have faith in myself, and my destiny. To go forth with dignity and strength, to carve a new life of integrity. Living honestly and in a manner true to my values.
This choice was never easy. And the events that ensued were life changing.
One by one all the areas in my life fell away...
1) My husband. I separated from him, and he happily pursued other interests, and ignored the changes necessary for positive growth.
2) I left my home.
3) My husband started to realise what I meant to him, but was too stubborn and proud to work on change.
4) My daughter attemtpted suicide, and failed. She and I drew much closer together. I developed a closer relationship with my grandaughter.
5) I lost my job.
6) My husband committed suicide
7) 5 days later I had to attend court to defend myself against 2 fabricated charges (from "that' night of 23/8/6). The hearing wasn't concluded and was moved forward to 30 May, 2007.
8) Pauls funeral
9) Discovered Pauls female friend and endured her venom over Pauls loss
10) Found out who was really a friend and who was a good time person.
11) Cemented those real friendships
12) Started to run out of money by Mid May. I realised I would need to let go of everything in order to relief the stress.
13) Put one house on the market.
14) Managed to get Pauls ex-partner to help fix the excavation he started under my house (being held up by acrows ) so I can put house on the market.
15) Sold Pauls Tip truck
16) Put some furniture on EBay and sold most
17) Secured a senior contract with Optus.
18) On wednesday all charges against me were dimissed
19) Although a criminal case, the judge suggested my solictor seek damages from the crown due to the prosecutions failure to properly investigate the case, failure to take statements fom the only 2 independant eye witnesses, even though they were available and known to police. It appears I may have $6000 in costs reimbursed. Both judge and prosecutor agreed this was reasonable given summary evidence. Hearing date set down for july 6, 2007.
Whewww, WHAT A TRANSITION.
And its all turning around. And I know good luck will continue to come my way. Because i'm in a good place now, I know who I am, I like who I am, and I've turned the corner. And I'm ready for my fabulous life to take to me to the greatest heights imaginable.
I now know my who my friends are, and love them more than ever.
I take time for little things
Work is not all that matters in my life, but what work I do will help change the world. Opportunities will come my way and i wil choose which align best with my values.
My family are closer to me tha ever before
Strangers respond to warmth, kindness and sincerity and I have new faith in people I don't know - they are no longer to be feared
Love is not jealous, not damaged ~ it is not vindictive, it is not stressful and erratic - I know love now.
I have more empathy for my fellow mankind - we are all in this toegether, and we can make it easy or hard for one another. I choose easier!
Most importantly , I am a NEW WOMAN. Maybe its not over yet, but the end is in sight, and my life starts today.
If I can get through the past 10 months, I can succeed in ANYTHING I CHOOSE.
And so can you.
Most amazing of all, is that each one of us will endure huge transitions at some point in our life, or at least have the choice. Choosing transtion is never an easy choice, but it's what your heart and spirit know is best for you.
Don't let doubts restrain or trouble you , Listen to your inner voice and Make your transition.
I'll be with you, cheering you on.
I'm one of the lucky ones who chose transition, endured and conquored the fear, and made it through to the other side.
Love and light to all my friends for helping me. Without you I am nothing.
XOX
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